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Today’s headlines are tomorrow’s fish wrap, which is why I read them before they become fish wrap.

It’s only been a couple of years since I got into the habit of reading the daily paper. I cannot really remember how it happened; perhaps it started with the days when I’d skip everything and just pull out the entertainment section. Now, I take in news like a full course meal, with a few and regular leftovers.  So let me brief you on my gastronomic experience of chewing up words from the newspaper.

Like most people, I’d take bites of the headlines, photos and captions where my eyes take me to. Like any other newspaper, expect bad news 90% of the time. Turning the next few pages, I occasionally stumble upon some interesting-but-not-so-big news, like a meteor shower tonight or an eclipse. Turn turn turn. Apologies for the irreverence, but there are pages and sections I would gladly skip. These are opinion, editorial, sports, news accross the nation, and motoring.  It’s seldom that I read them, although select news can catch my attention. Moving on there’s a section for the metro, which again is a chock-full of terrible news. Next in line is world news, which is pretty awesome when you find information like Google shutting down in China, a couple crashing a White House dinner or a French company that offers to kidnap thrill-seekers for a fee (Yes, this firm does exist, check out Ultime Réalité). For business, I only check out the stocks to see if I’ve finally become a millionaire, and in entertainment, movies of course. After savoring the lifestyle section, I cap everything off by trying to answer the crossword puzzle—which I never really finish—and by reading a few comic strips, Ben by Daniel Shelton being my favorite.

A newspaper is just like a magazine, except it’s updated daily with loads of events from cover to cover. Each day of the week,  in the newspaper we are subscribed to, has its own theme for the lifestyle section, and I’ve practically remembered them by heart:

Monday-Arts and Books
Tuesday-Wellness
Wednesday-Home and Entertaining, Parenting
Thursday-Food
Friday-Fashion and Beauty
Saturday-2bU
Sunday-Travel

And this is a good thing, because there are certain themes I look forward to more than others (No, it’s not parenting).

Believe it or not, it can take me an hour or two to read the paper–that is if I have enough time and interest for it in a day. But then if I can give that much time for eating, why not ditto for reading the daily paper? After all, it’s also food.